Catching up...

Harry turned 18 on December 1st. He is very happy about that. He no longer has a curfew (he thinks!).

The Snow Pile

The last time we lived in a suburb, with neighbors at our elbows, was when we lived in Ellicott City, Maryland. We lived in a great place, but our next door neighbor was a big jerk. It was the mid '90s and one winter we had a terrific snow fall which gave us two to three feet of snow overnight. My husband, John, was very active and used to do lots of snow shoveling in the winter. The snow fell over the weekend, and at some point I came out while John and Harry were working on the driveway.

Me: You'll never guess where our neighbor Paul is putting all his snow! Its on the sidewalk between our driveways! Its about four feet high right now. He’s been doing it with his kids all morning!
John: Paul's an idiot. He’s never forgiven us for putting up a fence. It’s just been one thing after another. What a pain! First that letter to the chairwoman for our development, then the dog whistle whistling to make our dog shut up. Now this. Well, he'll have to move the snow. I’d bet this is against city ordinances. What could this guy hope to achieve with such a stupid idea. What a major nuisance he is! What an immature stunt. He’s an idiot.
Me: I know! He’s putting it on the sidewalk right between his driveway and ours! You know that patch of sidewalk. It goes maybe five feet from our driveway to theirs. He’s put it smack dab in the middle.

The snow pile was still there on Sunday and growing. Paul and his kids were adding to it. Monday morning school was back in session and the city was open for business. The snow was piled high everywhere, but streets were plowed and sidewalks clear. It was John's job to take Harry to the bus stop.

Me: Oh John, the snow pile, its ten feet wide. You’ll never get around it. You’ll have to walk down our driveway and out in the street. Its way too deep. And he’s built up the sides around his driveway so you can’t walk around and go over the yard that way either. You and Harry won’t be able to make it to the bus stop."
John: Harry…

Sweet little five year old Harry, bundled for school, skipped over to his dad. Harry had a back pack in one hand and took his dad’s hand with the other. I got a long look from John.

John: You wait…

So I did. I watched from the front porch.
John with his white cane, and little Harry, attempted to navigate the huge snow pile. The sidewalk was clear on John's side, as John and Harry had spent Saturday and Sunday shoveling snow. On either side of the snow pile was a wall of snow at least two feet high that bordered Paul's driveway. On the other side of the snow pile, Paul's children were waiting for the bus with Paul. There were some other kids there as well; the boys from down the street. I could see that John was asking Harry about the snow pile.. John was pointing from side to side with his cane. Then Harry led John down into the street and over toward Paul's driveway which was the official bus stop. A few cars drove by, at speeds that must have been more than 40 miles an hour. Just as they came up the apron the bus pulled up. Both Harry and the other children began boarding the bus.

Paul was walking toward his house.

John: Paul, you need to get rid of this snow pile. You are blocking our path to the bus.

Paul: I don’t think so…

John: What? What? Paul….I'm blind and I am walking with a five year old. It’s not safe to have a blind man and a five year old going out on this road to get around that snowpile.
Paul: I'm not doing anything of the sort. I have a sore back.

John: Why'd you put it there in the first place? Sore back my foot. What you’re doing is against the law!
Paul: ( laughter )

John: Are you laughing Paul? You think that this is funny? Why your a menace... your ...your just a big boob!"

John walks back to our house by way of the street.

To me, standing on the porch:

John: This is it. The guys an ass! I 'm calling the police!

John goes in the house. He goes to the kitchen phone and dials the police station in Ellicott City.

John: This is John Moore. Yes. This is not an emergency. Yes, I want to file a complaint against my neighbor. Yes.... Yes.. He's shoveled his snow into a snow pile across the sidewalk between our two houses. The bus stop for school is on our neighbor’s driveway. The only way we can get to the bus stop now is by walking in the street. Here is the reason I have called. We live on a very busy road. I am blind and my son is only 5 years old. This is a dangerous situation for us. There is no way that my son and I can get around this snow. It blocks my son's path to the bus stop! I want to report it! (...silence.......) Thank you.

John: (to me) Well, they will send a policeman out to check on it.

Within the hour a policeman knocked on the door. He carried an expression that conveyed he wasn’t happy about making this call.

Policeman: Good morning Mr. Moore. We received your complaint this morning. I see the snow pile you are referring to. Have you talked to your neighbor about this? Asked him to remove the snow?"

John: Hello officer. Yes. I did speak with him this morning! I asked him to please clear a path, but he said he had a sore back and he laughed at me. You understand that the reason this is an issue is because the school bus stop is on his driveway. My son is only five years old and I am blind. This is a very difficult situation for us. Cars drive very fast on the street here and it creates a dangerous situation for us if the only way we can reach the bus stop is to go out in the street.

Policeman: Well, Mr. Moore, I understand your concern but in situations like this there is not much I can do.... It’s a shame that you and your neighbor cannot work this out amongst yourselves. I will go over and talk to him.

Me: (Policeman is gone) He thinks we're silly John.

John: Maybe so, but I couldn't let that boob get away with this. Somebody’s got to stop him. He needs to pay for being such an idiot!

Twenty minutes later there was a knock at the door.

Policeman: Mr. Moore, I spoke with your neighbor Mr. Lyons and unfortunately, there are only two things that we can do in response to this. I can issue him a citation, if that's acceptable to you, and I would be more than happy to do this. The other thing that you can do, is call the school and get the bus stop changed. They would probably agree to that under the circumstances.

John: Yes officer, that’s a great idea. I will call the school. That would solve everything. Thank you.

Policeman: No problem, Mr. Moore, but I will still issue Mr. Lyons a citation. It’s the least I can do.

John: (to me) Holy cow! Paul must have showed his true colors.

I didn't hear the phone call John made to the school because I had to leave for a customer appointment, but the school agreed to change the bus stop for the very next day. John called the neighbors whose kids used the bus stop living the other side of Paul’s house, apologizing for the inconvenience...but they understood. Everybody felt the same about Paul. The neighbor kids made paths around the snow pile. Their paths looked like deer trails. It was a cold winter with no warm spells, and so the snow pile remained till early March.

More on Beep Baseball

I blogged about Beep Baseball here. Just recently I came across a website for Villa Park, IL. Villa Park was one town over from Elmhurst, where John and I lived in the Chicago area. The website has some pictures of the game. Check it out: http://www.invillapark.com/beep.htm

This is a link to one of the teams and gives information on the tournaments: http://www.chicagocomets.org/

When John was playing baseball we went to most of the tournaments. We went to tournaments throughout the midwest, places like Kalamazoo, Michigan and Marion, Indiana. The biggest tournament was in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where teams all over the midwest and west coast participated. The various teams had definate characteristics and personalities. The teams from Oklahoma City and some place in Kansas had huge players with no fear. The team from San Francisco was very diverse and they were small and oddball.

There were times when we would pull up at a motel, and these were the same places where all the various teams were playing and staying, to find a paddywagon and the police and a fight that had broken out. Alot of these blind players had multiple problems, and were on various types of medication; so mix that with alcohol and women and you would have a fight. When we went to the tournament in Minnesota everyone was staying at a very nice hotel in Bloomington. What a riot for the hotel staff. Blind people tend to run in packs. The guy with the cane or some sighted person was out front with a cluster of visually impaired persons clumped behind. Movement was awkward and they knocked stuff down. This hotel had upright ashtrays with sand in them and everyone of these had a pile of sand on either side of it so you know that they were being continually tipped over. My favorite memory was of the mezzanine, where there was a balcony that had a rail at waist height. There were these upright ashtrays with sand in them against the rail at twenty feet intervals. Blind people walk next to walls or use rails. As with everywhere else in the hotel, there were piles of sand on the floor on either side of these ashtrays. I watched this blind person navigate down the mezzanine. He hadn't reached an ashtray yet, but you could just tell that he was going to knock over each and every one of them.

What do you want to do when you grow up?

Ages ago, when I had been working maybe four years at my current company, a manager ask me what I wanted to do with my career. I can't remember how he phrased it, but thinking back, I definitely misunderstood the question. My answer was not what he expected. I told him I wanted to be a Private Investigator. He got this weird look on his face, but it never dawned on me that it was a wrong answer. Instead, i gave him my credentials. I realize now that he wanted me to tell him what I wanted for my future in the company. I've thought about that incident many times and can you believe it has taken me ten years to figure out what I should have said? I have gotten much better at answering questions like that these days, you can be sure of it.
At the time, my son was about two years old. My husband was as he is today; blind and diabetic and needing help. Back then he was working remotely for a large communications company as a trainer. He was much more independent then than he is now.

I was your typical working mom, an eight to five person; my family was my absolute first priority. If i worked overtime I worked my lunch hour, no exceptions. I told my boss that was the best I could do and that was all I would do. When I got to work , I worked my ass off. At 5:05pm I was out the door. My productivity was through the roof, and I had pretty good results. I was totally stressed and internalized everything, but that's just me and I am working on it because I need to change.

One of my favorite movies is "Twelve Days of Condor" (correction: Three Days of Condor, per anonymous) with Robert Redford. I think it came out in the 80's, and as the story goes, his character worked for the CIA reading fiction to look for information about terrorist plots, whatever. He goes out for Chinese (take out - lunch i mean) and when he returns everybody in his office has been shot / killed. So then he goes on a mission to find out what is going on, and who killed his co-workers. He takes on aliases, gets into offices disguised as a telephone company journeyman, or technicians, and eventually figures it out. I loved this movie because I wanted to be him. I loved that he knew how to be a chameleon and used disguises and blended in. I wanted to do that.

I've worked for my current employer almost 19 years, but before landing here I had lots of jobs. I figured I could use my experiences in all these places for my dream job of Private Investigator. Plus, there are so many shows on TV about Private Investigating I figured I knew what it took to do the job. I learn alot from TV.

So here it is: I worked for the Clerk of Courts office in Cleveland, the Civil Courts, in billing. Among other things, I would look up the divorce records for my friends to tell them whether the guy they were dating was really divorced. There were a few times when I would show someone their files. Many times the individual did not know the status of their case until they got billed. I am not sure that any of what I did was legal, but I found my access to this kind of information very exciting. I worked as a receptionist / secretary for the Great Lakes Shakespeare Theatre Company. I dated just about every guy in the office plus I realized that image was everything and you could create your own persona. Everybody I worked with did. I became the chauffeur for a blind man and learned how to be invisible. I worked at AT&T and did telephone fraud investigation and was pretty good at it. Its surprising how much people will tell you without realizing what they are telling you. I was a DOCUMENTATION SCIENTIST at a Pharmaceutical company. My ability to spot typo's in script as it was running down a screen landed me my a job in PC Support at the company I work at now. (Back then all the configuration files and PC programs were written as batch files (like flat text files) and you could watch them as they executed on the screen.) So I felt that I had done quite a few different things in my life and had a rich background to mine from if I needed some kind of technical pseudo persona, and this would perfectly suit the kind of qualifications and characteristics needed to be a top notch PI.

In retrospect, I think that manager treated me differently after that meeting. I think that is when he became my advocate. Its probably because he realized he couldn't motivate me with threats or fear of losing my job. He even defended me once. He told someone that if they didn't work with me they would end up working without me so the guy better make an effort and work with me. That was nice. And, he asked me if I would consider a management position. Then we moved to Maryland so I had to look for another job. I stayed with the same employer. I have since given up the idea of being a Private Detective. I've decided its too dangerous and I don't want to be in business for myself. I spend most of my energies now checking up on my son, but he's growing up and will be leaving home soon, so who knows.

The history of Crazy Sister....

It was this incident that gave me the idea for the brochure. We found this shop at a marina in Murell's Inlet, SC and my sisters insisted that we take this picture. Apparently they think that I am THE CRAZY SISTER in our family. Its all relative, because I think I am low key and not that over the top. After this event I made up the brochure featured below and sent it out to members of my family. My family and I enjoy staying at B&B's when we travel and my husband and I entertain the idea of setting up a business here, and how we'd rearrange the house. We had some good friends who had a B&B in Maryland. Its fun to imagine anyway.

Someday maybe...

More on the holidays....

This was written by my nephew Matt just before Thanksgiving for a school assignment. He wrote about the last Thanksgiving the whole family came up for the Holiday. It is not 100% accurate and he is writing from memory. I am publishing this without "official" permission. I never would have guessed any of the kids liked my cooking that much. His enthusiasm is contagious.

My Latest Trip to Minnesota, and Oh What a Thanksgiving It Was

Oh what a great day today has been. The food was amazing and my belly was filled to the limit. Even now, as I was about to fall asleep, I couldn’t eat another bite. On top of that, the day was so much fun. I was still smiling from ear to ear even after all the yelling I had received just to go to bed. Man, am I going to sleep great tonight. Oh, wait, did I jump ahead too far? Then I guess the only thing I can do is go back and tell how this Thanksgiving in Minnesota was the best holiday of my life.

Even though I was only twelve years old, making the trip to Minnesota was nothing. Compared to the twenty hour trips to Florida it was a piece of cake. So, making it there before two o’clock was a walk in the park. When my family and I got to my aunt’s eight acre property, we immediately joined the chaos that was building. I mean we barely had time to put our bags away before we were sent off to work! My mom went into the kitchen and helped out with dinner. My dad went and put the tables out in the garage. My two brothers and I helped put out the chairs. We were all working within the first thirty minutes we got there, (though it would all pay out in the end). Then, in no time dinner was ready and the best part of Thanksgiving was about to start.

The first thing I saw in front of me at my seat was a beautifully cooked Cuban turkey. It looked delicious. The outside was a perfect golden brown and the inside was the dark meat I so longed to try. When I looked to my left I saw the mashed potatoes and the stuffing and immediately took a huge spoonful of both. Then I looked to my right and saw the dinner rolls along with the broccoli. I couldn’t help myself so I took the most I could of each. Every thing looked so good that I even tried the asparagus. After prayers, I quickly dove into to my full course of Thanksgiving dinner. First the turkey, then the asparagus, then the broccoli, then the mashed potatoes, then the rolls, and finally the stuffing. Oh man everything tasted so good. My taste buds felt like they were about to explode from all the richness of flavors. Then to make matters with my taste buds even worse, dessert came; it was my mother’s apple pie. Now this was one thing I couldn’t resist. It is a pie filled with sugared apples and topped with cinnamon and sugar. It is the greatest food ever. The pie was so good I ate two huge pieces. It filled my belly to its limit, and greatttt, just in time for the games.

An annual family tradition of the Rader’s is a doubles ping-pong tournament. We play up to twenty one and each player alternates hits. Each person in the family, including my grandma, participates in it. I really wanted to win, but I was stuck with my Aunt Laura. I didn’t think we had a chance against some of the older guys in the family. But, somehow we kept winning and winning and suddenly we were in the championship game. Now, we were up against my Uncle Jim and my cousin Tommy. They were good. I mean really good. Both could put so much spin on the ball you would whiff if you swung at it. But, the only way we could win it all was through them. We had to win. The game started. They served first. "Bing." "Bing." The ball went back and forth. "Yes," I yelled as we won the first point. "Bing." "Bing." "Yes." We won another point. Then, little by little, we had a comfortable lead. Then… a win. I yelled at the top of my lungs as the final point was won. I hugged my aunt and screamed again. Man was I happy. I ran around the entire house enjoying the twenty minutes of glory I had just had. Then to add on to this moment of happiness we were going to play charades next. Now charades with my dad’s side of the family was a blast. The way we would play is everyone would right down the name of a movie, book, or TV show on a piece of paper. Then we would put all the little pieces of paper into a basket and people would draw the names from this. To add to the fun of the game, half the time, many of the kids had never heard of the movie, book, or show they were doing. This all led to the hilarity that was about to ensue. One of the funniest moments while we were playing was when one of the local neighbors of our relatives came up for his turn. He got the book "Gone with the Wind". He started out with the easy symbol of opening his hands to show a book. Next, he went with another easy part which was the three word symbol. Then he made one of the most hilarious moves I have ever seen. He started to blow air out of his mouth to represent wind. Now, as everyone knows, in charades you are not allowed to speak while you are the one acting out the book, movie, or show. So after someone yelled out, "Gone with the Wind," everyone realized the mistake he had made. And as most people do when a dumb mistake is made, everyone in the room started cracking up. It was one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen. Then, later this same evening, we got another good chuckle when we argued over whether there were four or three mad’s in the movie "It’s a Mad World." Charades and all the games we played this night were great.

So, in the end, Thanksgiving was a blast. The dinner was great, the games were fun, and there were so many good moments. I mean not every year do you win your first ever ping-pong championship. On top of that, I never expected the amount of fun and laughter I would get with charades. So, as I climbed into my bed in the basement and went to bed I thought about all these things. And I thought to myself: How blessed am I? I get great food and fun while thousands of people in America don’t get anything on this wonderful holiday. I also get to thank the pilgrims who first came to this country so that I could have the wonderful time I had today. It is the reason this Thanksgiving has been the best holiday of my life. So, hopefully I have allowed others to catch up on my latest trip to Minnesota; what a Thanksgiving it turned out to be.

SNOW!

The temperatures are in the teens. It is snowing like crazy. The storm is not supposed to let up till tomorrow. I prefer to wait the storm out. Good thing it is the weekend. I had no plans to go anywhere as I am on pager duty and need to be available for work. My son is watching a friend's house and their furnace stopped working. He is meeting the repairman at their home to let the man in and be there while the furnace gets fixed. It is terrible weather to be out in.

Today is my son's birthday and we will have a quiet night at home (if he makes it back!) and play Risk. I agreed only because it was my son's birthday. I prefer Monopoly. We'll see if there are any neighbors who are snowed in and looking for something to do. I have several cases of beer leftover from Thanksgiving.

I love this picture. It looks like this outside right now. We lived at our first house in Pine Island and Harry was maybe four. He drove this little jeep all winter long. Sometimes he would get his jeep stuck in the ditch, and and my neighbor would laugh, because she would see him kicking it and shouting curses.** Baby swears of course. This particular incident was a big snowfall, and my husband was out shoveling. On the first pass shoveling the drive, Harry followed directly behing my husband as he shoveled, and from the window, I could see my husband turning around periodically to yell at Harry because Harry kept bumping him in the back of his legs. It was fun to watch, even though I could tell my husband was aggravated. I think Harry eventually got the message, after about four reprimands.

**Note: Roads are built high here so the wind will blow the snow off and it has somewhere to go. Being "in the ditch" can happen easily. The ditches are usually quite steep and difficult to get out of without some help.

Thanksgiving Big Family Melee

Well, my whole family showed up, although some members (nieces, nephews, brother in law) headed back to Chicago early because of work. The general consensus is that it was fun.

My family plays games, we sing songs and we drink. We have certain traditions when we get together, like Ping Pong tournaments, Moriarity Are You There?, Capture the Flag or Tag outside in the Woods....we are quite competitive and we did some of the usual games. We often play the dictionary game but this year I borrowed from gmcountrymama's version for the Thanksgiving meal. My younger sister and I, with our kids gave each person a word at dinner time. They had to use the word at least two times an hour. We thought that this game might cut most of the "crap" conversation that goes on, however the words proved hard to use. Then we just said you had to use it in a sentence as to why you were thankful. That was most amusing.

While the last minute touches were being put on dinner we had our annual ping pong tournament. Above is a picture of the team that won, my older sister is the one on the right. I think they are holding a trophy, but I don't think they took the trophy home because it is one of my son's most valued possessions, at least it was when my son was twelve. The young man in the picture is my nephew Matt. It seems that he is always part of a winning team. He has been winning for at least the last three tournaments. He was partnered with my other sister for those. My sisters have no talent, trust me.

We did have a rousing game of Group Tag in the pine trees. The branches touch the ground and the trees are pretty tall so the kids were jumping from tree to tree. The trees are so close together that if you fall you can grab onto another tree. It is kid heaven and we are all kids at heart around here.

For the most part we sat around a talked. Lots of good conversations. Well worth the effort.

I am gearing up for Thanksgiving

My family is coming up this year for the holiday so I am busy cooking. The last thing I want to do when I have my family up here is spend all my time in the kitchen, so I make as much as I can ahead of time. I am also busy washing linens and making beds because I have three families plus extras who stay with us. These are pictures from a few years ago. And when I tell you we make everyone wear orange when they are outside I am not kidding. Its hunting season and the Thanksgiving weekend is big for hunters.

My brother in law and his daughter went out for a morning jog. As you can see they are wearing the requisite orange gear and carrying bats. The bats are for protection. We insisted. There were some rotweillers in the neighborhood. Most people in this area do not kennel their dogs. Those rotweillers were a major problem.

This is my mom and her friend, Mario. Mom relocated to Chicago from a small town in Northeaster Ohio. She now lives smack dab in the middle between two towns and my two sisters, in the Western Chicago suburbs of Naperville and Aurora. Mom and Mario met a number of years ago in what I like to refer to as an "Emphysema awareness" class. It was some type of cardio-exercise program. My mom quit smoking about ten or fifteen years ago after more than twenty five years as a smoker. Now she is suffering from a mild case of emphysema, as is Mario. They are both widowers. In my mother's case, it was her second husband whom she lost. Mario lost his only wife the year before. He had been married to the same woman for more than thirty years. If you think you're too old for love, well your never too old, just ask them.

A blast from the past

When my brother was in middle school- of course we called it Junior High, he and his friends would get together up in his room and play Risk. It is the game where you have little colored pieces that represent armies and you roll the dice to do battle and the highest roll wins. The board is divided by territories and continents and the more territories you conquer, the more land and armies you acquire. After playing this game you see why Europe and Asia were constantly being over run throughout history and so difficult for the
conquering army to hang onto. I would walk by my brother's bedroom and the chatter was deafening. There was so much excitement and shouting. My brother and his friends would spend hours and days playing the game. They loved it..


It is a great game, then and now. I used to play it on the occasional weekend night with my friends in the dorm when I was in college. We would go all evening and finally it would end with someone flipping the board, or throwing pencils. We were very competitive and didn't handle losing well.


We used to play here at home with the kids or just Harry, after a holiday meal or on a cold Saturday evening in the winter. As in, Monopoly, another Moore favourite, in this household, we always try and form alliances or make deals. I loved playing with my husband, because he'll always do these truly sweet things for me exclusively, like in Monopoly, let me land on Boardwalk four times rent free (this is after he's got two and three houses on it, and could bring you to your knees in the game financially), or in Risk he'll give me a country that he would like for us to visit sometime, or the one that I should be Queen of. He was such a gentleman, and there is nothing the kids can do about it.


My son plays Risk. He plays with his friends and he plays when he goes to Chicago to visit his cousins. Or on vacation, he will bring a Risk board and the cousins will spend an evening at it. If you talk to the boys, my son and nephews, they will engage you in a discussion of the game, and their strategy and who was winning, or how the game was won or lost by whom. It makes my eyes roll to the back of my head to listen to them. I appreciate that they get so excited, and it represents drama to them, but frankly it is dull to listen to. But I think back to the excitement I used to witness with my brother and his friends, and I think, well alright, its that kind of thing.


My son just recently went over to his friends and they played a rousing game, or so he says. He was telling me how he won the game with great gusto and excruciating detail; the alliances and deceptions that were occurring. And here is something, they were text messaging each other under the table. As he was negotiating pacts and alliances with one party, he was receiving text messages on his cell phone from another party. Sweet.

Trees and solitude

I pulled this poem from "right hand pointing" http://www.righthandpointing.com/
The poet reminds me of Mark Strand (Eating Poetry, The Marriage).

We have at least fifty acres of trees in various stages of growth. Our trees our like our children. We are sad when we lose one. Over the years we've watched them grow. We've even had trees moved rather than cut them down. We moved about twenty trees once with one of those huge spades. That was an amazing machine. All the trees lived. We haven't always been as successful with other tree planting projects.

Also, we have more wildlife here now than when we first bought the land and it was all just cornfields. I've seen a barr owl and a pileated woodpecker. Pileated woodpeckers need mature forest . The owl needs big old trees for nesting too.

We talk about selling our property and the polite thing to do is ask your neighbors, but some neighbors I just wouldn't sell to because they would till some of the fields coming out of CRP back into crop land. I can just tell. My husband and I have talked about doing a land trust, but not sure how hard it would be to sell if we did leave. And then other days I think that this is absolutely the best place to be, and I love the solitude and privacy. I think I should stay here for as long as I can because I will miss it when I leave. I don't think anybody would understand unless they lived in a place like this and had the room and the freedom we have had living here. Recently I've begun going for a walk every evening before sunset, as long as the weather holds. I walk along the fencelines which go through shared woods and field. I enjoy it very much.

Watching the Pine Fall
by Doug Draime

Am I the one to ask the question
Or the guy across the street
With a chain saw biting deep into a pine tree?
Words very often appear on wood
A highly refined bleached wood
Maybe this paper was once a pine?
Nevermind, no words can compare to a tree
But any idiot can operate a chain saw

No worries

Michelle, the cleaning lady with OCD, did a great job, and, she is very nice. There were a few things that I will probably need to work on. All the sheets for the bed have to match. Consequently, she didn't replace some of the pillow cases because they weren't right. My linen closet is probably as unorganized as they come, and I throw together whatever as long as its the right size for making up the beds. I guess I'll have to re-organize that closet too. It's time.

She confessed that she replaced John's water glass three times because there were bugs in it (fall is always ladybug / elder bug season crazy in the house). If you live in the suburbs you will not understand, or if you are heavy into pesticides, my house would be a problem for you, because I will not even kill spiders. Here in Minnesota we really do not have anything lethal anyway that would come indoors.

My husband keeps a beer mug of water on the table that he uses all week long, and maybe once a week I'll replace it with a clean mug. I don't worry about the possibilities of him swallowing a bug unless I see it happen or there is one in the glass at the time I am passing by. Michelle suggested putting saran wrap over the top, but that would be complicated for John to remove at best.

The only incident was, very early on I recieved a call from Michelle, because John was asking for her help to find a disk that contained his phone numbers. Well, he hasn't used a diskette in a pc for ten years, and he was thinking of when we lived in Maryland and he used to carry his phone numbers on a diskette that he would take between his home office and work. So I walked Michelle through re-booting the pc, and bypassing the hard drive scanning program. John is using a 486 processor pc with windows 98 because his talking program, Jaws, is old and has been out of service for years. It would cost $900.00 to upgrade, and another $135.00 for software maintenance agreements, so I am keeping this pc alive for as long as I possibly can. John has a phone number file on his desktop, and I showed Michelle how to access this. I explained the situation to her, that as a result of the stroke, he confuses past and present and sometimes he will have moments of clarity so she will just have to ask Harry or I to explain what John is referring to. Brain damage is an interesting thing. It can turn life into a crossword puzzle. I guess I would prefer to work them at my leisure, but it is what it is and we can rise to the occasion.

Was this a good idea..

A few weeks ago the woman who was cleaning my house quit. She got a job in a nursing home. She had four kids and it is second shift with benefits. It is a good thing and I was very happy for her and I like her a lot. I decided that since I had plenty of vacation time till the end of the year that I would just clean the house myself and that would be refreshing. I could take half days every other Friday.

But then I saw an add in the local paper. A woman was advertising some openings and I called her. Thanksgiving is coming up and I have to do some travel for business and perhaps it would keep me saner if I got someone to help.

So then she came over. She has OCD which stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
She used to work in the medical industry but then decided that she should use her gift that God
has given her and cleaning just made sense.

I am wondering what I have gotten myself into. She wanted to know where all my cleaning supplies were, and materials. I showed her everything that was in my closets and cabinets so that she would know where everything went. She says she has to put things away and nothing can be on countertops (when I suggested that she just leave the cleaning supplies on the counter etc.) The beds all have to be made. Everything has got to be perfect. When she saw the cupboard where I keep rags and brushes and vacuum filters she asked if I would mind if she reorganized that. Well, sure. I do myself sometimes. And, my cupboards and pantry do look pretty disheveled at this moment in time. I usually ignore those kinds of projects till the weather turns bad.


As we walked around the house and talked she picked up paper scraps and bits off the floor. She has given me a list of special cleaning supplies and tools that she will need. I am a vinnegar and water, bleach and ammonia sort of person depending on the job. I use an old fashioned rag mop to do the floor. I like things simple and basic and without the filler (all those chemicals whose names cannot be pronounced). So now I have a list of supplies that I have to get before she starts next week. I am not sure I will be able to handle this. I really am not interested in perfection.

Today I am reorganizing my pantry and the place I keep all my cleaning supplies. I would hate to send her into a tailspin on her first visit.

Sisters' Cow Fever

I have a younger sister whom I mostly refer to as my "little sister". Its a private joke. We're only about a year and a half difference in age and for a long time I thought we were twins, because she was always the same size as me. She eventually overtook me in size when we got older. I am five foot four inches and she's probably close to 5'11" (she always said she was 5'8" growing up and I believed her! Pah!). Anyway, when we were little, adults would ask me that question, "Are you girls twins?", in grocery stores and other places, and I always said yes, and then my "little" sister would correct me. It wasn't till I started grade school, ahead of her, that I realized that I was different and also, possibly had an advantage. We were raised Catholics and my little sister and I went to a Catholic school. I was indoctrinated at a very young age on the cult of Jesus, and he was great for suffering. As it happened, my sister suffered a lot. This was when she was five and we were new in the neighborhood. She used to get picked on by some of the neighbor kids, well one in particular. I remember her coming home crying from some incident where the girl who was supposed to be her best friend, had pushed her into the bushes or pulled her hair. I remember ( and she remembers this too) telling her that Jesus loved her (when I was seven!) and that i would protect her. I also remember hugging her and all that, and trying to stop her crying. There is a lot to be said about birth order and behavior. My dad, who is almost 80, and having some problems with memory loss and old age in general, tells us now how his older brother always took care of him, and still is: taking him to the doctor, making sure he has all his prescriptions, keeping us kids informed. This is a good thing about family. I feel like my older sister is similar and frankly, sometimes she acts more like my mother than my own mother!


When we were in our early twenties, my little sister was visiting me at college, and I had a friend whose parents were farmers. My friend took us over to his parents place, so we could see the woods and go for a walk. We had to cut through this pasture to get to the woods and so we had to walk through this field that had a couple of cows resident. The cows tried to stampede us, well sort of. My sister has brought this up a number of times recently. I asked her why this had such an impact and she said because cows aren't supposed to behave this way. They are supposed to be gentle and quiet and sweet, but I think she has been watching too many movies. I guess this must have been one of those traumatic, life changing experiences for her.


Now I have had some experiences with cows. This wasn't the first field I had been chased out of by a bovine. From my view, they appear rather slow and thoughtful (er stupid is probably closer to the truth), but it is possible for them to sometimes get anxious or feel threatened. Fortunately though, it has been my experience that thoughts do not come very quickly to a cow, and they usually chew on it for quite a few minutes, which gives you sometime to realize their intentions. On this particular occasion, we were in this pasture, headed to the woods: my sister, myself and my friend. My friend was distracted by the gate and had turned around. All of a sudden these two cows lunged toward us. Well they did not move that fast, but it totally startled my sister and I. The thing that got me, was not the cows coming at us, but our response to them. For my sister, I think the adrenaline kicked in and she went into survival mode. I tried to get in front of her and I swear to God, she, on the other hand, was pushing me out of the way and knocked me face first on the ground, (I'm exaggerating because i never actually fell) so she could have a clear shot at a run in the other direction. Fortunately, my friend noticed the whole thing, before the two of us trampled each other in our panic to do something. He shouted a couple of WHOA WHOA and waved his hands. This was enough to make the cows stop in their tracks and run the other direction.


My sister and I have a lot of shared experiences. We don't talk about any of this too often, and it is surprising to hear, sometimes, her perception and memory of various incident that we experienced together. For her this incident was some kind of traumatic experience, for me it was just something new I learned about my sister, and now that I think of it, the way we responded probably had more to do with the roles we had within our family.
For a long time, one of my measures of human worth based on behavior, is whether I would want to be stranded on a desert island with a person. Since this incident, I had decided that my sister was not a good candidate. I've changed my mind about that. Actually, both my sisters have been there for me recently, providing me with much needed emotional support, and just a little bit of good advice to get me through some very tough times. I have decided that I am very lucky, and very glad that they are here helping me.

They need a dog

Say hello to Pufkin. This is the one family member's picture that my niece Megan has sitting in a frame on her desk at work.

My sister's family lost their dog Tucker to old age about 6 months ago. He was part of the family for many years, and well loved by all. Recently, my niece bought this little hamster and named it Pufkin.

At night, Megan will block the top of the stairs with pillows and put Pufkin in a hamster ball, so it can roam unrestricted around the second floor. The other night, at bedtime, Pufkin, in the hamster ball, was in my sister's bedroom. "Mike, will you get that hamster out of here?" And her husband did. It followed behind him as he led it, in its hamster ball, out to the hallway.

This family needs a real pet.

In memorium

This is my friend Doreen, standing with my husband. The story behind the picture is this: she needed a car for awhile. I drive used cars. My current vehicle of choice are station wagons, and for some silly reasons, we had two. She borrowed one for about a month and then when she gave it back, she gave us a gift certificate to a restaurant. So then, when John and I used the certificate, we invited Doreen out to dinner with us, our treat. It was fun.

Doreen died this weekend. She was recovering from treatments for MDS, a precurser to Leukemia. She had a blood cord transplant three years ago, and just never got better. Before she contracted this disease, she was so lively and so much fun. There were many things I wanted to do with her, and things we had planned. I will miss her alot.

Beep Baseball

When I first met John, my husband, who is blind, he was very active and athletic. He was looking for things to do, so he joined a Beep Baseball team through the AT&T Pioneers association. I got involved in the sport with John, as his driver and his friend, and I ended up being a spotter for the team.

Everyone on the team was blind, or had partial vision and wore a blindfold, except the pitcher. The pitcher could see, and had to use syncopation in his voice and throw a ball that was even and true. He would say “Ready, Set, Swing”. We played softball, but I have to say the team was a rowdy bunch of brave souls, not some girly girl outfit. (I come from a very sportscentric town so hardball vs. softball is a discussion.)

What the spotter does depends on the strategy that the team puts together; and ours was a pie shape where the baseball field was fractioned from one to five as if you had triangular wedges. My job was to call out which area the ball landed in. So I would shout a number one through five if the batter hit the ball and it went somewhere. I would name the area that it fell. And then the person in that area would scramble to get the ball, and there were rules as to whether you could run back or forward, to avoid other players.

Generally, the best teams were the ones who had team members who could hit the ball. There were always discussions whether a player who had vision at some point in his life, and knew the batter posture, was better at hitting than say someone like Stevie Wonder, who I don’t think ever had any vision. Well clearly he wasn’t an athlete. Anyway, there is definitely a difference, but no decision as to which makes a better batter and more contact with the ball.

So, about the game; we had two spotters in the field, one on the left and the other on the right side of the field. I shared the spotter position with another fellow who had a son on the team, so the other spotter was maybe in his sixties.. One time he got hit by his son, wouldn’t you know, who was young and reckless, and did not follow the rules or the plan. For Christ sake, all these guys out in the field have to handle the ball in less than seven seconds and none of them can see. I say seven seconds because that is how fast a runner can run to the base. We used to time it. The fact that everybody listens to the rules and pays attention is very important. Actually, that is why John eventually quit. This same individual wasn’t listening and went the wrong way and hit John dead on with at least 180 lbs of force and John was concerned about his face and his smile and good things like that. Ok.

Well sometime I’ll tell you about the tournaments or the day they played in the wind. The players could not find the bases. The bases are tall soft bags that emit a tone, based on the umpires decision, because the umpire flicks a switch for first or third when the batter makes contact. The batter has to run toward the noise. Sometime I'll tell you about the time we got drunk with a couple of the team members, and I gave them a lift to the train station. Two drunk blind guys trying to find their way through the train station was hilarious. I was a little worried about them when I dropped them off, but they made it.

The whole thing, my hanging out with a blind guy, and hanging out with many blind guys, was an adventure for sure. My husband is amazing. By the way, guess which one is my husband? Guess which ones in this picture can see? There are four.

Over the wall (more about hunting)

I work in an office with mostly men and they are all software engineer types. These two guys sitting next to me were working on something programming and it wasn't going well and the one guy says, "Have you ever been squirrel hunting and your frustrated and you just hang it all and start shooting into the nest? Well thats how I feel right now."

Boy, that's what I would have said if I were having a bad day.